Record of Six

To whom it may concern,

You see that giant piece of metal moving back and forth? It's a top-grade mineral decontaminator.

I installed a fence around that decontaminator, twice. My employees keep tearing it down to bet money on how many times they can run back and forth before the decontaminator closes. One of them bragged to me about his record of six. I told him that I was impressed and fired him.

I hope you're not attempting to beat that record. Yes, you may get a meaningless achievement; however, I assure you that the risk of getting crushed to death far outweighs the reward.

-Virgil, CEO of Lightmatter Technologies