THE SMACHEAD UPDATE

Every update needs a name. This one is named after SMACHead — a real applicant who walked into the agency, left a review, and pointed out (correctly, annoyingly) that Stan's end-of-interview summaries went on for way, way too long.

Stan read it. Stan sulked. Stan fixed it. And then he renamed the whole update after them, because that's what happens when you leave a review here: you become part of the game.

✂️ The ending: shorter, sharper, personal

The long, generic personality write-up is gone. Your final evaluation is now a short, personal roast — Stan calls back to the job you wanted, the things you confessed, and the answers you really shouldn't have given. Thanks, SMACHead.

🌍 Stan now speaks seven languages

The entire interview — including Stan's live, improvised remarks — is now available in English, Nederlands, Español, Português (Brasil), Deutsch, Français and Русский. Switch languages straight from the main menu and get roasted in the comfort of your mother tongue. Accents, ¿upside-down question marks? and Cyrillic all render properly now, too.

🎵 A real soundtrack

The stock music is gone. The agency now plays a fully original OST — four tracks written for the game:

• Pangaea (Hire Me Remix)

• Terms and Conditions Theme Song (Secret promotion track for my next game)

• The Contemplation Room

• Aurora (Hire Me Remix)

The tracks rotate on shuffle, and a little "Now playing" note tells you what you're listening to.

📣 Stan reads your reviews. Out loud.

During the intro, Stan now backs up his bragging by reading real Steam reviews of the game — including the newest one. So if you leave a review with your name in it, and Stan will read it to the next applicant. He'll pretend it's about him. It always is.

🎤 A sharper interview

• The personality test is shorter and more varied — no more "didn't I just answer this?" moments.

• Stan remembers your previous answers and uses them against you.

🛠️ Quality of life

• Pause menu on Escape, with volume sliders for music and sound.

• A proper settings screen; everything remembers your preferences.

• Full keyboard navigation in the menus.

🎮 Steam Deck & stability

• The on-screen keyboard now pops up when Stan expects you to type.

• We also rewired the agency's back office for security and reliability. Stan says it's classified. It is.

That's it. Go update your resume, pick your language, and try to get hired.

Ps. I launched a new website for Mildly Interesting Games: https://www.mildlyinterestinggames.com