DDDR: Dev Diary #1

Introduction

In late 2024 I travelled abroad, by myself, for the first time. It wasn’t a long journey. I flew from Toronto to LA, and the whole trip took just a few hours.

I was scared shitless.

The reason why was simple enough: I’m a pretty anxious person. It’s my duty to come up with an endless string of macabre scenarios. And true to my character I had some on repeat leading up to the flight. The plane could crash. I could get kidnapped. I could lose all my things and end up stranded, never to return home. Or worse! There was always worse.

At times I wanted to cancel the trip entirely. But I didn’t want my irrational fears to get in the way of what might have been a once in a lifetime opportunity. So I sucked it up, booked the flight tickets, and went on this journey.

Steam post image The “ once in a lifetime opportunity ” was being invited to the Game Awards. I’m glad I went. I met some great people :)

I have this habit whenever I get really anxious where I create these little worlds to escape into. Sometimes they’re games. While I was waiting in the airport, or going through turbulence, or lying awake in my hotel room, one of these games festered in my mind. A game about a road trip, where the player drank coffee as fuel and kept an eye on their ever changing radio. Where the player was very different from me, but in a way reflected my internal struggles and anxieties.

This game’s concept went through many, many iterations since it was first conceived, and there’s still a long road (🥁) ahead until it’s ready to release. But I’m at the point where I feel confident enough to announce it.

This game is Dark Dreams on Diverging Roads (DDDR). In it, “You” are an author embarking on a book tour, during which you’ll stumble your way through odd mysteries and deal with unsettling passengers.

I’m not fully sure when it will be released or what other changes it’ll go through. But I’ve learned a lot since the game’s inception, and I want to document the development process.

Here is the first development diary.

Development Details

I should preface this by saying that there was one other thing that influenced this idea. There was a game jam happening around the same time. I originally wanted to make something very simple following its theme, even though I did not plan on participating.

It was for that reason that I started making this game in Unity. It’s the engine that I have the most experience with and it’s my go to when I want to make something quick. Since then the idea has grown in complexity, but I’ve stuck with Unity since so much of the foundational work happened in it. For future games I’d like to use a different engine (maybe Godot).

Development “technically” started in early 2025. I wanted to do this as a mostly solo endeavour, so I’ve been handling the design, code, sound design, narrative, etc. I may use royalty free sounds/music, but I’d like to avoid that if possible. I am not using Gen AI and have no plans on using it.

While I prefer working on personal projects alone, there was one person I wanted to collaborate with. Kodey Owen (my husband) is an incredible pen and ink artist with whom I’ve collaborated on game jams in the past. He’s helping out with the art, and providing support in other areas (like giving feedback on the story and design).

Look at Kodey’s art!! It’s so good!!

The way I try to approach making games is by thinking about the “feelings” I want to embody. This may not make much sense, but for me these feelings are anchors. When I find my motivation waning or my vision for the game starts to get fuzzy, I return to these anchors. They are:

• Planning out rest stops while on a road trip

  • When I think of the fun times I’ve had during road trips, what I come back to is the feeling of trying to plan out the rest stops. There’s something enjoyable about anticipating each stop, and drinking coffee while gazing out at the landscape.

• Playing Dredge and hearing the sound of something slipping into the cargo

  • I love Dredge. I love the vibes in that game, how it’s eerie but still cozy. When something slips into your cargo… that’s such a cool aspect of the game. I keep going back to what that feels like.

• “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” by Frank Sinatra

  • I’m not explaining this one 👀

I mentioned that the game has “technically” been in development since early 2025. The reason for the quotation marks is because there were long stretches of time where I didn’t work on it at all. Part of the reason for this was that I kept taking breaks to mull things over. Another part was the multitude of other projects I had going on, including some I was working on with acquaintances.

2026 will be different. I intend for this to be my only personal project.

On Iteration

Iteration, and in turn letting an idea ‘stew’ in your brain, is very important to my creative process. Stewing is a cooking process that deepens flavors over time, and allows the individual ingredients to meld together into a cohesive whole (at least as Kodey explained to me, since I’m not a cook 🤭). I think it’s pretty apt. In this day and age, there’s so much attention placed purely on the final product, and not nearly enough on how you get there.

There is this piece of writing advice I heard years ago that really struck me; the first draft isn’t really your first draft. It’s what helps you decide what your first draft is supposed to be.

When I started working on DDDR I intended it to be a game where you drove through America. I wrote out a script for the game where the player meandered through different states on their way to a writer’s conference.

After it was done I realized that it didn’t work.

Then I rewrote it. And I realized what the game had to be.

This road trip is very different from what it started out as. I’d argue that it’s better. And I wouldn’t have had this revelation if I hadn’t gone through the laborious process of writing the initial script.

Now, if I were to talk about every single thing I’ve iterated on up to now, this post would be far too long. So I’d like to focus on how I’ve iterated on the 3D models.

I have much more familiarity with 2D art. I’ve been getting better at 3D, but my skills are quite limited. I don’t really know how to make complex models or properly rig things for animation. Part of the fun of doing these types of hobby projects is trying to figure out how to work within my limitations, and use them to my advantage.

This has led to some fun experimentation. Like with my pine trees. I figured out a way to make 3D pine trees while still mostly relying on my 2D skills to create the illusion of pine needles. Partially to avoid trees that looked too blocky and partially because this is less computationally expensive than a really complicated (but much nicer looking) model.

Steam post image I’ve been asking Jonathan (Magthylius) Tang questions regarding Unity/coding and he’s been so helpful. Thank you Jonathan!!

The coffee shops also went through a lot of changes. Since they’re the only way the player can get fuel, I wanted to make sure the model looked interesting. At first I thought I should go with something a little more grounded and my initial concept seemed to look good in Blender. But once I put it in the game I realized it didn’t feel right. It looked too basic. At a glance the design didn’t scream “coffee”. Maybe that’d be fine in real life, but in the game these are important destinations that the player should immediately recognize. I realized I wanted them to look really distinctive from a distance.

A technique I learned in art class was to create a bunch of “thumbnail” sketches when trying to figure out the design of something (like a logo). The sketches didn’t have to be good. The point was just to try a bunch of different things until something stuck. Mimicking this process, I quickly made rough models in Unity to figure out what shape I wanted the coffee shop to have. I would drive the car around these buildings and look at them from different angles and distances. In the end I decided to have the shop mimic the look of coffee cups. This made it look really distinct, even from a distance. It also added a bit of whimsy and surrealism to the game, which I think fits the overall narrative.

What I’m currently iterating on a lot is the UI. At the moment I’m satisfied with what the HUD looks like (the coffee meter and the radio on the bottom). But I don’t think I’m fully satisfied with the UI for the player to look at the backseat. All I know is that I want this UI to be diegetic.

Steam post image Pictured here is the HUD... I need to make the coffee stand out more against the environment

I’m also struggling with the visual novel UI, which is why I haven't shown any screenshots of it yet. Hopefully in an upcoming diary entry I’ll be able to show what I've done.

I have an old progress video to show. This is from April 2025:

In the video, you can see a few things that were different from what is currently in the game:

• Models: The old coffee shop is in this video, along with old versions of the trees. I was also using a test version of the car model.

• The perspective: I was trying an orthographic projection for the camera and I didn’t like it.

• The HUD: the player used to be able to control their speed, and there was a speedometer to reflect that. Now the player isn’t able to directly manipulate their acceleration/speed (it ramps up as they drive) but I may reintegrate the speedometer in some form.

• The coffee: It used to be that you had to hold the left mouse button to bring up the coffee meter, but I realized that that kind of sucked. You still have to hold up a button to bring up the map, however. I like having it block the screen to mimic how your focus would be taken away from driving if you were to hold an actual map while at the wheel.

• The driving: it was not very dynamic. There was no acceleration or weightiness. It didn’t feel right.

I made this teaser trailer that I plan to redo. I like the concept of it, but since I’m still iterating, it’ll be worthwhile to have a version of this trailer with the final assets.

On Burnout

I’m burnt out.

For many years now I’ve had a habit of overworking. During covid it got particularly bad. I was a Master’s student while alsoworking a full time job. Meaning I woke up around 8AM for my shift, did student/thesis work as soon as it ended, and went to bed around 3AM. This period of time was a depressing blur. I successfully passed my thesis defense, but I feel like I never recovered from that, or from all the other chronicoverwork that I had done in years past.

I’ve benefitted greatly from working as much as I did. But I also have many regrets. Sometimes when we dive so earnestly into work we forget that we’re just pounds of flesh and bone. We have a body and mind to take care of, and I wasn’t doing that the way I should have.

And it catches up to you! I’m in my late twenties and I feel so old. I physically and mentally can’t crunch like I used to. In an ideal world I’d take a year off to recover from it all, but we don’t live in an ideal world. So I have to keep working to pay my bills while finding ways to rest and take care of myself when I can.

It might seem strange that I’d put so much effort into making a game while being so burnt out, but in an odd way, it helps. It’s a purely personal, artistic endeavor for which I have no deadlines and no one to answer to. It’s not a commercial project. There’s a sense of catharsis I get while working on or thinking about it. Some days, when I’m feeling despair, it’s these little side projects that keep me going. In a sense, I think I need them.

…But I know if I’m not careful a hobby like this will burn me out too.

That’s part of why I’m not setting a definitive release date for this game. I’d like to release the game in late 2026, but if that’s not possible, no pressure, I’ll aim for sometime in 2027. Since I have a full time job within the games industry I want to put time into this only when I feel stable after my work hours, versus forcing myself to “crunch” to get it done. I think it’s possible to create good art without crunching, and I hope to prove that!

To that end I’ve set some general hard rules that I have to follow. They are:

• No more game jams

  • I can get inspiration from game jam themes, but not actually participate

• No more doing projects with other people, except Kodey who I’m familiar and comfortable working with

  • Even projects with friends can be very stressful!

• No working on days where I’m notably stressed or exhausted

  • Instead I’ll focus on relaxation

• Whatever milestones I give myself have to be flexible

Milestones

There are some major milestones I’m hoping to reach by the middle of the year.

I’m hoping to complete two playtests. The first will be within the next month or so and will focus on two things: how it feels to drive the vehicle (in particular comparing the keyboard controls to controller) as well as the navigation (whether the player can find a location using narrative and environmental clues). These two things are atthe core of this game and I’m hoping the participants think the controls feel good and enjoy exploring the locale. I’ll be making a bespokeUnity scene with its own (simplified) map specifically for this test.

The second playtest will be focusing on the first level in the game, “Act 1”. Once I have a complete version of this (including the art assets and sounds) I’ll use the playtest to gauge each individual element (including the story, the visuals, the gameplay, etc) and how well they complement each other. If it seems like I’m on the right track, I’ll shift my focus to the other acts. Otherwise, I’ll continue to iterate.

For context, upon release the game will have around four acts (unless I make major changes to the narrative). I’m aiming for a full playthrough to be a couple hours long.

Aside from the playtests, I hope to have certain accessibility features and settings in the game early. This may seem weird to prioritize, but these things can be a major headache if done near the end of the project (when the codebase is more likely to be spaghetti):

• Closed captions for the radio noises

• Graphics/volume settings (different resolutions, window sizes, etc)

• Coffee meter speeds (that allow the player set how quickly the fuel goes down)

• Key rebindings

• The option to view dialogue history

Lastly, I’m hoping to make some progress on the sound design by figuring out the game’s soundscape. It’s important to get the soundscape right because it’ll help to immediately establish the game’s atmosphere.

In terms of upcoming development diaries, my plan is to do a small update post for the first playtest. Then a bigger post near the midpoint of the year.

If I achieve all these goals I’ll be happy, but no pressure. I’m telling myself that it’s okay if I don’t achieve any of these goals. I’m keeping things flexible.

What I’m Worried About

A few years ago I released a dinky little game called Witch Forest. Was it good? No (Kodey the editor here; she is incorrect, it was great, and I’m willing to die on this hill). I think the only people who liked it (other than myself) were Kodey (who’s biased, his opinion doesn’t count my opinion counts threefold actually) and my 8 year old cousin (who was too young to know any better who has great taste).

Despite all that, I’m very proud of it. This game was a turning point for me. It was the first non game jam (or school related) project that I finished. Afterwards it was like a switch flipped in my brain. I can commit to projects. I can complete anything I put my mind to.

…However, I’m worried I’ll replicate the biggest flaw that that game had. Which was that the gameplay didn’t feel particularly good. The main mechanic was just pushing things around, and people didn't seem to enjoy it.

Steam post image A screenshot from Witch Forest. I’ve always liked blending 2D and 3D, and diegetic UI. See the witch’s hut in the background? That gave me so much grief when I was trying to make it. Everything had fucked up UVs. I’ve gotten a lot better since!

DDDR is unorthodox. Even though the player is driving around, the focus isn’t on “racing” or simulating real life, it’s more around solving puzzles. And I’m worried I won’t get it right. I’d hate it if people played it and thought “this doesn’t feel good”. When I initially started working on this I spent so much time testing different things for the movement to see what felt the best. I think we’re at a stage where it doesn’t feel bad. But the first playtest may say otherwise, in which case I’ll go back to the drawing board to nail the feel of the movement.

I think an ideal scenario would be if a player liked just ambiently driving around the world because it felt good. Like how in Dredge sometimes I’d stop what I was doing andsail around because it was such a nice vibe.

This game is also my most complex personal project yet. And as you’ve probably gathered by now I worry constantly. So here is a brief rundown of… everything else:

• Code: if upon release the game runs poorly, or there are progression blocking bugs, I’ll be mortified

• Game balancing: I know this will be a headache.

• Narrative: I’m an amateur writer. I’ve written a lot over the years (I even had an embarrassingly bad piece of writing published while in high school) but that doesn’t mean I’ll be able to write a compelling story for a game that’s a couple hours long. What if the prose is bad? What if the player isn’t able to suspend their disbelief? What if the progression of the plot makes no sense? Etc.

• Sound design: I respect sound designers so much. I can make my own sound effects but they’re not the best. I’m hoping to really nail it for this project.

• Visuals: You’re Not Family (YNF) had such a distinct visual style. That made it stand out. I’m worried that DDDR won’t have as distinct of a style despite my best efforts.

• Other comparisons: I’m worried this game won’t be as successful as YNF. It’s not that YNF was a huge blockbuster game or anything, but it did wayyyy better than I thought it would. I’m hoping that DDDR will do just as well, otherwise I may get in my head about it.

Making games is incredibly difficult. When a game gets released (especially if it’s somehow good) it feels like magic.

On Creating Art (Despite Everything)

There’s something inherently a little embarrassing about putting yourself out there. These days, at least from what I’ve seen in certain online spaces, it kind of feels taboo to be sincere. But sincerity is how we improve.

Out of all my worries, the one that feels the most paralyzing is the thought of nobody liking this game. How can I keep creating games if I put so much effort into this one, only for nobody to like it? It would be so demoralizing.

Kodey told me something that completely changed my outlook. He said, “Even if you put out this game and people don’t like it, I know that it won’t stop you. You’ll keep making games.” And he’s right.

Being in the games industry has been difficult for numerous reasons. But I’m here because I love games. I love making them. I think I’ll always love making them. I don’t think I know how to stop. I can imagine myself being an old lady and still tinkering away on my computer, making weird little projects.

Even if this game (or any future projects I’m involved with) does horribly, and people hate it, that’s okay. I’ll keep going. I live for my art. And the act of creating makes me happy.

With all that being said…

….I’ll still do my damnedest to make this a good game.

Thank you for reading!

-Atiya Nova

(And thank you Kodey for providing edits :P)