The future of our company, our game, and quite possibly our last project.

Today, I’ve got something major to share.

The past few months, frankly, maybe even years, have been a bit rough. Little over 6 months ago, we raised over a million dollars on Kickstarter. Since then, let’s just say our team got “inventive” with purchases. While reviewing expenses, we started noticing that some of our developers had been spending company funds on... questionable things. We found gold-plated staplers (apparently normal ones weren’t enough), someone bought a Da Vinci reverse keyboard for the entire team (we’re still figuring that one out). We’ve got an original Daft Punk helmet in our possession, though there are no concert plans as of yet. We even saw budget lines for ergonomic yo-yos and a disco ball for meetings.

We told them, very clearly, “ Not cool, guys! ”

They did not listen.

The LAST $48,000 of our not-at-all-essential budget has now been funneled into one final creative vision… the singing toilet. It’s soulful, it’s lonely in the desert, We’ve hired a famous movie director and a cinematic vocal coach so a singing toilet could ‘find its emotional truth.’ Some of us were sent on a luxury research trip to Italy to study premium bathroom acoustics in five-star resorts, while others sourced pre-owned porcelain samples from Dubai for ‘visual benchmarking. So today, with the budget drained and our trust in expense reports gone… we’re sharing the result with all of you. And if this serious creative project does not get us the spotlight WE DESERVE, and maybe push us a little closer to (cough) one million wishlists on Steam, then frankly... we’re out of toilet paper.

We’re also proud to finally reveal the long-awaited Autonomica Official Road Map. Thank you for sticking with us. We appreciate you more than you know.

We hope you enjoy, because otherwise, we’ll be singing the blues.

Happy April 1st!

– The financially responsible half of the Crytivo Team