The Mailroom Now Hiring

Now accepting applications for employment in the mailroom of the Mephisto Building at 666 5th Street in thrilling and picturesque downtown Modesto, California. Candidate should be unemployed, desperate, and have a general sense of hopelessness. Ideal candidates will have recently received devastating news.

Must start October 24th.

Job description:

• Hybrid remote/on-site position

• Must supply own computing equipment with a mouse and keyboard

• Accustomed to gloomy and damp places

• OK with blood

Job Requirements:

• A human soul unfettered by contractual obligations to gods, demons, or lesser deities

• No experience necessary

Demo available October 24. Apply in the comments below.

FAQ

I have made a life-debt vow to a werewolf. Am I still qualified? Answer: Werewolves are not real and you are an idiot. Even if they were, a promise to a werewolf would not be worth the paper it was written on. Apply.

A powerful sorceress has bound me to her as a servant. Can I still apply? Answer: Easily broken. The sorceress is probably one of ours anyway. Apply.

I have a college degree and might be overqualified. Will I get a fair shot? Answer: Our hiring process is never fair. But desperation is one of our most valued attributes and you reek of it. What choice do you have? Apply, you pitiful creature.