T-MINUS 14 DAYS TO DEPLOYMENT

Attention, Employee!

You are two weeks away from your mandatory assignment in the suborbital junk-heap of Cetos. According to your orientation logs, you haven’t even read the Giant Space Fish Survival Manual. We’ve scheduled your launch anyway, as we find trial-by-fire to be a great motivator.

In preparation for your first shift, please review the following pre-launch memos:

• THE SHIP IS NOT A TOY: Whether you prefer a keyboard or a controller, remember that the ship responds to your commands instantly. Any "accidental" collisions with space mines will be docked from your dental plan.

• SUPERVISOR READINESS: Your feline supervisor has spent the morning sharpening their claws and wit. They have curated over 100 ways to tell you that you’re doing a mediocre job. We suggest you develop thick skin immediately.

• WARNING: A giant space fish has been spotted migrating toward your designated work zone. It is hungry. We recommend not being made of meat. If that is unavoidable, then we recommend being fast.

Wishlist the game now. It’s the only way to ensure your supervisor knows you’re actually paying attention.

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