Merc Report: Going Hans-Free

Oi there, mercs!

It’s your best mate, Foster. We’re looking for the brave, possibly demented few willing to volunteer for our most dangerous mission to date. Deep in the Bavarian Alps lies a WWII-era mountain stronghold. Why is this of interest to us? Well, it’s the last known location of the infamous Dr. Hans Volter. (And who knows? Possibly Renfred.) Appropriately, the locals call it “Castle Volter.”

This will be a must-visit sight for fans of ribbed vaults, flying buttresses, hidden rooms, and science untethered from all moral and ethical considerations.

Most significantly, we now know the secret behind Herr Volter’s surprisingly spry, death-defying existence, and it’s not just sleep, exercise, and diet. Here, the original Hans is being kept in stasis so that his own organic matter can be used to create a brood of crumb-snatching little Hans Juniors forever and for all time—unless, of course, we do something about it.

So what’s say we finally put an end to Dr. Volter and his little science experiment? It’s time to consign him to the dustbin of history along with the rest of his old kameraden. It won’t be easy. I can’t guarantee you’ll come back alive, but don’t worry about it: what with modern cloning technology these days, death is only temporary anyway.

Mercss will infiltrate Castle Volter with The Beta 1 release, which will go live on PC soon!