Controller Authorized - Update

The Store, Inc. is pleased to announce that following 17 quarters of internal review, personnel are now authorized to operate franchise locations using a standard input controller. The decision was reached after the Ergonomics Subcommittee reviewed a series of incidents involving keyboards, wrists, and what one report described as "a sound the human hand should not produce." The corporation regrets nothing and admits to less.

All cashier duties can now be done using the controller. Scanning, packing, item rotation, cash and card handling, bag selection, and the small dignity of leaning back in your chair while doing it. Xbox, PlayStation, and generic XInput devices are supported. Mouse and keyboard remains available for personnel who derive meaning from struggle.

Productivity quotas have not been adjusted to reflect the new input method. They have, however, been raised.

This is unrelated.

Pick up a controller. The customers are already in line.