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Steam News30 January 20265mo ago

Attention, mere mortals! The die is cast (and the cards are dealt)

Hello everyone! The dev team here with some exciting news... (Static noise and a maniacal laugh) THE JOKER: "Enough with the boring formalities! Do you really think anyone cares about your 'certification process'?

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Full Alonitaire update

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Repeated intro

Hello everyone! The dev team here with some exciting news... (Static noise and a maniacal laugh)

THE JOKER

"Enough with the boring formalities! Do you really think anyone cares about your 'certification process'? Let me speak." ... Okay, it seems our "host" wants to break the news himself.

THE JOKER

"Exactly!

Listen closely, future prisoners of my board

My domains have been packaged, compressed, and sent to the guardians of Steam. Yes, what your developers call 'The Demo for Steam Next Fest' is already on its way for review." This is a major milestone for us. It means that very soon you will hold in your hands...

THE JOKER

"...An invitation to your own defeat! I have prepared my best tricks. The cards are marked (metaphorically, of course), the rules are... 'flexible', and I am looking forward to seeing how you try to break my solitude with your ridiculous clicks." In summary:

What changed

0 fixes2 additions0 changes0 removals
  • Gameplay
addedYou will be able to play Act I , learn the basic mechanics, and, of course, suffer the commentary of your new best friend.
addedTHE JOKER: "Friend? Don't get confused. I am your jailor. But I admit that... I am curious. Will you be capable of entertaining me?" Add Alonitaire to your Wishlist right now. You wouldn't want to keep The Joker waiting when he opens the gates, would you? See you at the festival! (End of transmission)

Alonitaire changes

addedYou will be able to play Act I , learn the basic mechanics, and, of course, suffer the commentary of your new best friend.
addedTHE JOKER: "Friend? Don't get confused. I am your jailor. But I admit that... I am curious. Will you be capable of entertaining me?" Add Alonitaire to your Wishlist right now. You wouldn't want to keep The Joker waiting when he opens the gates, would you? See you at the festival! (End of transmission)
  1. We have sent the demo build for validation.

  2. If all goes well (and The Joker doesn't delete the source code), we will be ready for the upcoming Steam Next Fest.

  3. You will be able to play Act I, learn the basic mechanics, and, of course, suffer the commentary of your new best friend.

THE JOKER:"Friend? Don't get confused. I am your jailor. But I admit that... I am curious. Will you be capable of entertaining me?" Add Alonitaire to your Wishlist right now. You wouldn't want to keep The Joker waiting when he opens the gates, would you? See you at the festival! (End of transmission)

Source

Steam News / 30 January 2026

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